Leisel
Growing up in a household of brothers, Leis was no stranger to seeing guys in boxers and little else, but Baden standing shirtless in a pair of low riding board shorts so close to her clenched her stomach in embarrassment. Feeling like she was seeing something she shouldn’t as he jogged toward the others, she turned away as he leapt into the air to snag the frisbee from Josh and whirled around to launch it back toward Andrew. She had often admired his dedication to keeping his body sleekly toned and her friends at school had never been shy about letting her know they found him extremely attractive. His deeply tanned skin and dark brown eyes certainly weren’t hard to look at, but they never aroused the kind of excitement her friends described.
She’d gone along with Baden when he’d pushed for permission to take this trip never expecting that her parents would allow it. When they did, she wasn’t sure how to feel about it. Getting away from her overprotective parents for a weekend sounded like a great idea, but being alone with Baden made her nervous. Lately he’d been pushing boundaries and questioning everything. Their life long friendship was suddenly strained and she didn’t understand why. His restlessness of late didn’t make sense. Everything he did had a purpose, but she couldn’t come up with the reason why he pushed so hard at their relationship all of a sudden.
Sparing a glance toward the sound of the guys shouts and taunts, she couldn’t help but snicker a little when she saw Baden tackle Andrew and plunge them both under. The water churned as they wrestled and after what seemed a long time they burst back to the surface sputtering for breath as they shook the water out of their faces. Andrew broke free and shoved Baden a little more forcefully than Leis would have thought necessary, but they were always pushing and wrestling with each other. Shaking her head she turned away. They would work it out, they always did.
Gina settled on a blanket spread under the second umbrella and smoothed sunscreen on her own pale legs. “What did you bring to work on today, Leis?” She nodded to the bag at the edge of her faded yellow blanket. “Do you have more sketches due?”
“No. I got accepted to Center College a couple months ago.” Leis lowered herself to the ground and pulled the bag toward her. She heard the guys shouting and Carol’s squeals as no doubt Andrew tossed her in the water, but she forced her gaze to stay away from them.
“Where is Center College? That’s not in Arizona, is it?” Gina interrupted her thoughts, having propped herself on a couple rolled up towels to read.
“No, it’s in Ohio. Near Cincinnati.” She glanced over to see Gina watching her. Gina knew about their family, the rules, the constant hovering. She also knew an Empfanger was almost never allowed to leave the state for school.
“How did you ever get your parents to agree with that?” She sounded incredulous. “When do you leave?”
“I leave next week and it was Baden who convinced mom and dad to let me go.” She smiled wanly. “I have no idea how he did it.” Her eyes flicked up for a moment to see him skim boarding across the sand, the argument with Andrew apparently over. “He could convince my family of anything. They think he carved the grand canyon.” She blushed and looked away when he caught her watching. Her family truly thought he could do no wrong.
The two of them had always been inseparable. Throughout grade school and until graduation they had done nearly everything together. When he ran track, she was there to cheer him on. When she had a softball game, he was in the stands. All the parties, all the dances, all the events it was always Baden and Leis, Leis and Baden.
Once in a while, Leis would try to hang out some place without him, but she always found herself missing him when he wasn’t there. The thought of going away to school and being away from their family excited her. But knowing she would be miles away from her best friend scared her. She flipped open the sketch book and the first drawing made her laugh.
“What?” Gina leaned over to see.
Leis held it up. “This is what happens when he gets on my nerves.” It was a detailed drawing of Baden with his eyes scratched out. One socket was hallow and gouged with scratches. From the other hung a bloody and mostly deflated eyeball. She giggled. “He was pestering me about being so afraid of Zombie movies. I told him to leave me alone or I would gouge his eyes out with a spoon.” She flipped to a blank page as Gina scooted back to her place to read. “He said I didn’t have the guts to even imagine something so gross let alone draw it.”
Gina gagged and thumbed her reader. “That looks real! Can you create that with makeup?”
Leis made a face. “It depends. I’ve never worked with prosthetics like what the hanging eye would take, but I’d like to learn.”
“Yuck.” Gina grunted then fell quiet as she immersed herself in the book. Leis was glad because she needed time to think.
Baden’s behavior these last few months was out of character for him and she had no explanation why. She was thankful he’d managed to convince her family to allow her to study out of state, and gotten their Paarung ceremony postponed until spring so she could graduate. He’d so been adamant about waiting to complete the bonding yet on this trip he seemed determined to press into her personal space at every opportunity. It didn’t make sense. He wanted to delay the bonding, yet he wanted to act like it had already happened. There was something going on with him and all she could do was wait him out. She knew he’d talk about it when he was ready, she just hoped it would be soon.
Focusing on her work, she sketched a quick brow and eye, then switched out her pencil for the pastels. They smoothed and blended in a similar way to the powders and creams she used on skin. As she chose the blues, yellows, and greens she would need she let her mind get wrapped up in the drawing, forgetting about ceremonies, rules, and chaperones for a few hours.
When she finally looked up, it was no surprise that Andrew and Carol were glued together and splashing in the water. But her face burned when she found herself watching Baden and Sam play frisbee on the small strip of sand. His lean, athletic body moved and shifted gracefully and she wished again she could look at him and see him like her friends did.
It wasn’t much longer before Baden was making his way toward her. He was hot and sweaty when he lowered himself onto the shaded ground next to her. She stiffened but kept drawing as Baden moved closer and leaned over her shoulder to admire her work.
“What if you added a little yellow there?” His breath fanned across her cheek as he reached across her body to point. Gina had fallen asleep and with him this close, she froze. His nearly naked body was close enough she could feel the heat radiating from him. With no one to tell him to back away she fought the urge to shrink away from him. She didn’t want him so close. At all.
His hand had landed on her arm, and she jumped. “You okay, Leis?”
“I’m fine.” Using the excuse of reaching for a fresh pencil, she pulled her arm out from under his touch and deliberately averted her gaze away from his glistening chest. “Having fun?” Her voice quivered.
Leaning back onto his hands, he sighed and stretched his legs in front of him. “Sure.”
She glanced over to see him looking toward the water shaking his head slightly. Following his gaze she saw Andrew and Josh hip deep in the lake water watching them. Twin frowns crossed her brother's faces before they exchanged a glance and headed toward her. Andrew called to Carol who floated on her back a few feet away.
Suddenly, she understood what the trip was about. “I’m sorry, Baden. If I could fix myself I would.” He’d persuaded her bothers to let him get her away from the pressure of rest the family hoping she would be able to scent him without their constant badgering. Her heart ached. “You know that, right?”
His brown eyes were sympathetic and his lip twitched in an almost smile. “It’s not your fault.” He stood and dusted himself off as her brothers reached them. “Let’s go. I’m hungry anyway.” Turning his back to her he shook out his shirt and slid into it.
Once again she cursed her defect. Normally her inability to smell was an inconvenience. To Ordinairs like Gina, it wouldn’t really matter at all. But for her it was ruining everything. Baden was perfect. He was smart, good looking, and funny. But she was hopelessly broken. Since she’d been born without the ability to smell, everyone knew the chances of Baden being able to bond with her were slim, but he’d aways believed in her. They both knew that without her sense of smell, she lacked the ability to detect the unique scent from his blood that would trigger her fangs. If they were unable to complete the Blood Exchange and solidify the bonding, there would be no children and she would outlive him by several hundred years.
That thought pierced her heart. She could expect to live three maybe four hundred years, but as an un-bonded Geberin, Baden’s life expectancy was no longer than an Ordinair. The thought of living her life without him in it was impossible. She looked up and watched him as he carefully repacked her blanket. He met her gaze and his whole demeanor softened. He must have seen the sadness in her eyes because he set the blanket on top of the cooler and came to her.
“Leis, you know this isn’t your fault.” He brushed the hair out of her face and rested a hand gently on her shoulder. His touch was friendly and comforting again, as though all the questioning and pushing had been flushed out of him. Just like that, he was back to being her friend, but there was a growing resignation about him she had always expected. He’s finally accepted the fact I’ll always be this way.
“But it is my fault, isn’t it?” She stared up into his soft brown eyes and wished again she could muster up the desire she knew he should stir in her. The kind he obviously felt for her. He was caring and oh so handsome. But to her, it was the same kind of handsome she often admired in her brothers, certainly nothing like what a couple ready to start a family would have. She shuddered. “It’s my disability that’s holding you back.”
Tears began to well in her eyes and he tilted his head at her. “Leis,” he said softly, “you are perfect just the way you are.” He wiped the wet from her cheek with this thumb. “Trust me. We’ll figure this out, okay?”
Numbly, she nodded though she knew he was only being kind to her. Her lack of attraction to him must be hurting him. It was obvious he was disappointed she hadn’t responded to his advances. As they rode home in the rented Escalade with Andrew and Carol, the disappointment kept everyone silent. Baden held her hand, his thumb softly tracing across her palm. The tears she’d been holding back fell when Baden’s hand tightened on hers and he leaned over to whisper in her ear. “I love you, Leis. No matter what happens, never doubt that I love you.”
****Unedited and Subject to Change****
Copyright 2015 Michelle Bolanger
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